personally i am pissed af that the house she killed herself has been torn down i’m pissed i never knew where it was until now im pissed i never got to go in it

like i understand why its great that its gone

but idgaf imo its terrible that its gone im so fucking angry

if i go through my likes its like lilly is reblogging just as usual 
a+ 

please donate anything you can to help with @inmemoryoflilly‘s (Lilly/ Lisa Demello’s) funeral expenses. anything is greatly appreciated

thank you

i wish everyone would die with their stupid fucking status’s and their stupid fucking faces

jesuslut999:

pitypoem:

Sixteen years old and only knowing how it felt
to sit on leather sofas and 
braid our hair together, tenderly using this pattern
our mothers taught us to weave-
hope, hopelessness, hope, hopelessness.

While she floats across campus most days
I am still stagnant in bed, safe and dark. 
And yet there are always the nights spent
sleeping through snowstorms to remember, 
and driving through downtown
with our mouths wide open, 
all blood, guts, and social suicide
we went to all the high school parties, 
hand in hand, synchronized.

This is Lilly, this is her thing, 
making bones ache less, 
making people feel as though birds 
are flying out of them. 
And for all the times I’ve looked to her, 
her mouth empty and heart fully 
knowing all I have to say,
I will remember these things-
the queasy and uneasy things our
parents wrote off as the growing pains
we should have grown out of by fifteen-
the texts sent late at night explaining how 
she is family to me even if it’s not blood, 
how she is more of a home than
the house I grew up in. 

Sometimes it is hard
to show one another this cracked perfection, 
but know whether it is the days she burns brilliantly
or the nights she collapses into me
with a broken body and a thousand questions,
she is the most wonderful things I’ve seen. 
I will love her as a still day, 
I will love her as a hurricane. 

inmemoryoflilly  

Idgaf I hate how everyone else grieves

I want to rub my face in her skin I want to hug her soft soft soft soft body
I want to cry together again
How do I deal with things when I cant go to you
How do I deal with your death if I don’t have you to go through it with

I keep making up scenarios in my head of what was going through her head and how she felt while she was dying alone
I understand why
This is shit

My best friend is dead
So much of me is gone

Inmemoryoflilly is such a clever username Lilly

Tbh I hate how much all of this makes you sound like some statistic for mental illness

i keep ignoring it then i remember and its shit

and if you’re in heaven waiting
you made it there fighting
the tightest kite string
in a bad storm with lightning